There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t beat myself up with woulda, shoulda, coulda. I should have zigged when I zagged. I take my inventory on a daily basis and the outcome isn’t pretty. I’ve sinned; sin meaning ‘to miss the mark’, and I feel that I have sinned every time I wasn’t thoughtful, compassionate, honest, considerate…the list can go on endlessly.
What I realize is I don’t give myself the love and support I would normally give a complete stranger. I set a standard that no human can possibly live up to. So what is the answer? Do I keep on adding to the limitless list of infractions I’m accumulating, or do I give myself permission to be human? What would I tell someone who has come to me for spiritual counseling? I would say. “Forgive yourself for being human!”
We are human and as such we are guaranteed to have missed steps. The issue isn’t if we make mistakes, but when and how many. Some believe we are humans having a spiritual experience, while others believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I believe the latter, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I believe without a doubt that we spiritual beings come to this Earth School to learn by experience. When you come from a place where there is only the light how can you compare or enjoy the complete experience if you have nothing to compare it to? Everything that happens to us is for the lesson. We can’t grow, mature, and learn if mistakes aren’t made.
It’s all well and good to say we are here to meet this lofty goal of learning, but what do we do in the meantime? What do we do with the guilt, anger, frustration and fear? What do we do with all that weighs heavy on our heart? I believe the answer is to ‘speak out’ or purge all that ails us. Instead of holding on to all that pain we need to let it go. You can tell someone. Some believe confession is good for the soul and I would agree. If you’re a recovering Catholic, you may feel a confession to a priest isn’t the way to go, but you really don’t have to ‘confess’ to anyone but yourself. Get it out of your heart, your mind, and your soul. It can be as simple as writing it out. Sit down with pen and paper and pour it out. Take the paper put it in an envelope and seal it. In seven days take the envelope and decide if you’ve said all you need to say without opening it. If there is still anger, hurt, hostility, write it out and seal it in a new envelope for seven days. At the end of this seven, if you feel purged take both envelopes and burn them. That’s it. You may consider mailing your letters, but I would wager that would just add fuel to the fire. It’s not about anyone else but you. Stay away from the drama, because that usually breeds more drama. Again, this exercise is for your healing, everyone else has to handle their own stuff.
This human experience is filled with ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly, but it’s what we’ve got and it’s up to us to make the experience the ride of your life or hell on earth. What does your life look like? Why not make it the time of your life?
Namaste
